The meaning of my existence

Alarm rings!!! 6.20am, practically jumped out of bed.

Called Aaron. "I'm so tired" says I. "Should I continue sleeping or head to church??"

I then drag myself up to shower.

Finally made it to church 5 past seven am.

So happy to be able to have communion with Him before I start my day.

Had breakfast after mass then drove to work. While driving and singing praises, I felt so thankful being a Christian. An overwhelmed Joy. How many non-Christians will understand the true meaning of overwhelmed joy?? or unconditional love?? or awesomeness??

Many times I wondered, what keeps those without a relationship with God going. What motivates them to live? More often that not it is material possessions. Isnt life meaningless to just chase after all these things? It cant buy joy, love, peace.

I look at some of my colleagues and I think, life means so little to them. Some are workaholic (majority out of town), some spend their time partying away wasting money on booze, some are just confined in their pretty four wall-ed lives. Half of them dont even know why they exist in the first place.

I should not condemn or judge. I can only PRAY!

I on the other hand.......dislike my job (just here to get the money to support my ministries), find that my time is wasted at work, I am only ALIVE is God's presence. Others may look at me as pathetic but I am proud to say I have a relationship with My God. Aint that something? That assurance I have, puts a smile on my face. I love my God.

Its not like i'm not bombarded with problems, tons of it! But I'm learning to handle it with Joy and a pinch of salt. The attitude of the Saints.

Am certainly not wacko but just simply in love with God.

My partner (Holy Spirit) will keep me in check.

Counting down to aaron's bday

trying to shield his candle.

Blury but cute.

He looks adorable

Hey im missing.....but Jess looks good.

More of me...

Side angle to hide my pimple.

With our church friends

Sat night

Getting vain in the middle of the road.

Waiting to be let in to watch "Ah Steve"

I like this pic, pretty candid. Yea it was darn warm and sweaty.

The bride and groom is inside. They paraded around town with this......we waved at them too.

Leading the bridal carriage was a marching band....twas very cool.

cont'

Ice cream?

Sharon & Jess

Aaron & Lean Sing

Stuffed as can be...

Awwww......darlin has got double chin...LOL!

Smiling as if its my bday

Jess's bento set. Quite yummy.

aaron's friends celebrating bday with him

His mini cake

That is his new prezzie from friends.....hmmm its sony erricson!

Over msg(ed) sukiyaki.

Cream on his face......me looking worried?? nehhh....

Happpy Bday!

Delicious garlic rice

I am only a trustee not the OWNER

That line sends me shivers.

God is the OWNER of my life. More often than not, I run my life the way I want to and when things screws up....God is to be blamed. Now how is that fair?

I am currently doing discipleship program for 6 weeks, I have another 4 weeks to go. It was difficult to read the materials and we need to answer challenging questions in our group. I feel so challenged and pushed. I know the time is NOW, I've been playing hide and seek with God for a while......i hate the feeling of having my guts twisted but I also sense an unexplainable sort of joy going thru this. Crazy huh? I cant understand why im experiencing joy.

Whats strange is, the things we're learning now is not very new.......we've been listening to talks that tells us "you cant conform to the world's standards", "you will be faced with trials of many kinds", "pick up your cross(suffering) and follow me". These are not new things, it is in my subconcious....but why is it hitting me only now? Its like a long delay in response....in computer terms "hang time".

The only reason I can think about is D E N I A L. I'm

in Denial to what the bible teaches.

in Denial to apply it in my own life.

in Denial by saying "I cant do this".

in Denial to knowing I'm sinking deeper and deeper into quicksand.

in Denial to say I'm suffering a slow spiritual death...

in Denial to surrender my weekness and let God take control.

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He has sent me a "partner"...and brainy me just forgot about the Holy Spirit. He is there all the time...

Well I pray that by knowing so much truth I will move forward a thousand steps, if I fall, pick me up and kick me to continue.

Honestly after hearing other people share, I find that a lot of people are afraid, afraid to take up the call...i seriously thought I was one of the weirder ones. A relief? Well yes and no. Happy coz I have a boat full of people like me and sad becoz, God has been turned down by soooo many people. It must be hurtful huh? Humans.....very selfish nature, always thinking about "I', "Me", "myself". Not forgetting ungrateful too.

Sigh!

I've got a lot to do.....

Soup for the Soul

First keep the peace within yourself, then you can bring peace to others.

-Thomas à Kempis

Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars.

-Martin Luther King, Jr.

We are living in a world that is absolutely transparent, and God is shining through it all the time.

-Thomas Merton

Heart Him!

Its been more than 3 weeks since Valentine's day.

I had a great time! We did a non expensive dinner, took a stroll down gurney drive - surprisingly, gurney was kinda empty, not as merry as previous years. Communication aint a barrier between us, so we chatted, chatted and chatted. Its amazing, after a couple of years we still have so much to talk about. Praise God!

Aaron is just a sweetheart.

Love him!

He has such a big heart and everything a girlfriend could ever ask for.

In some way we are worlds apart......im the wilder version and he is more of the conservative version. Thanks to Liara for always asking, "why not give him a chance?".

Some of my friends were concerned if we could ever work out. Some match made me with their friends...and the story goes on and on.

I heart you sayang!!!!!
My Valentine prezzie from sayang.

Mua opening it in my room

Just a teaser

This is the real deal. Nice not?

My chic sandwich with yummy basil leafsAaron's burgelicious.

Cheongsam

I love it.

Its beautiful.

Its darn uncomfortable to wear especially for a non girlie girl like mua. Had so much problems sitting, standing, walking.

I had to suck in my tummy.

I had to sit up straight.

Boy was it a torture....but I like how it looked on me. * all smiles*

Mama and I

Sweetheart

Raul with his susu bottle

His raccoon from baby Mikhail ( soon to be born brother)